Am I Going Crazy?

Am I going crazy is a question I asked myself a lot in the last three weeks or so. It was the question I asked as I started to notice my sweet ba y girl wasn't doing what she should for her age. It was the question I asked ever time I noticed that she didn't track an item with her eyes or responde to my warm smile. I must be going crazy. There is no way she couldn't see. She is a perfectly healthy baby. My fears were starting to become a reality. More and more people were questioning why she wouldn't look at them. More and more people were noticing that she didn't track objects. When I brought my concerns up to my husband he said he had the same ones. When I brought my concerns up to my mom she said she thought something was up also. Wow, I really must not be crazy I though to myself. My wish to be crazy become an even greater wish. I wished none of us were seeing what we were. My baby is perfectly healthy. Nothing can be wrong with her vision. We are all just imagining the same things! It had to be. I couldn't face reality. Then the pediatrician noticed. She noticed that Kinsley wasn't tracking the light the doctor was singing in her face. Now what? Now what was only one of the questions I was asking. Why me? Why my family? Don't I have enough on my plate Lord? Why does my family have to do this journey? How will we do this journey. I have been praying these questions for days. The doctor gave us 2 options: 1. We can start calling around to eye doctors and see if someone would see my sweet baby girl or 2. We could wait till her 4 month checkup in February and see if her vision has gotten better. My mommy gut was telling me that it couldn't wait another month. I had to start calling eye doctors as soon as I could. I needed answers. Monday january 26th I started calling eye doctor after eye doctor. I needed to find someone that would take our insurance and a 3 month old baby (just a side note to the way the Lord works - this is the first year ever we have had vision insurance and he knew we would need it). I ended up finding a place that could get her in on February 6th. I scheduled it i hope that someone could get me in sooner, but not willing to kose the spot. So I called some more. I fund someone that could get me in on the 25th of January. Sweet that was better yet! I will take it I said. At 4:30 that afternoon the place that couldn't get Kinsley in until February called back and said they has an opening for the next day! Do I want it they asked? Of course! God knew my baby couldn't wait. He knew this mommy needed answers. We took it. It was about to be a sleepless night. Our family is going on an incredible journey. I wanted to write a blog to be hopeful, inspire, ans share with other what we are going through. It is also a place for me to be real with my thoughts and feelings as we take this path. The Lord will guide this path we are on. I ask that you join us. Offer words of encouragement, support, and love, they will be needed. Prayers are welcome! We need prayers also. If you choose to take this journey with us, please remember 2 thinks. 1. Some posts with be happy and upbeat. 2. Some posts will be heavy with emotions and the real mess of what we face. Thenk you for doing this journey with us, Dany Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "Plans for good and. Ot disaster. Plans to give you a future and hope."