We are a home schooling family. We are around each other 24 hours a day 7 days a week with little breaks from each other. I would not change this for the world! I love every day. However, if negativity bites one person it spreads faster then the flu at our house! It goes from one to the next and until our house no longer looks like the Kingdom of the Lord.
Despite the thanksgiving season, negativity had reared its ugly head. The long days of festivities, non-normal sleeping arrangements caused by a sleep over so mommy and daddy could go Black Friday shopping, and being out of routine for so long had taken its toll. My children were out of control and so was I. It was ugly. Very, very ugly.
This morning I decided to visit this ugly, devil given aroma in our house during my devotions. The Lord certainly couldn't be happy with our attitudes. As parents my husband and I decided that we would handle this negative attitude on our own forgetting to lean on the Lord. Forgetting that with out Christ we certainly wouldn't be able to survive this round of the devil. We were in the fighting ring getting badly bruised and bloody. Everyone in our family was losing. While I was spending some time in prayer asking the Lord what needed to change I was convicted. A hard conviction at that.
It was me. I was bitten by the negative bug. It was my heart that needed changing. It was me that needed to refocus. It's been a tough year for us. Butterfly girl's diagnosis, possible job loss for my husband, our well breaking, a fridge needing replacing, and so much more. It's been hard to stay joyful through it all. I finally fell to the negativity bug. The negativity blinded me to the so many things I have to be joyful for and I lost. I was at the bottom. I was infecting my kids. I was causing their bad attitudes. I wasn't allowing them to see the joy in every day life because I had lost sight.
I took my Jesus pill this morning. He is the only medicine that will help me rid this evil negativity disease. He is my joy! He is the reason I get up in the morning. He is perfect. He is unwavering. He is all knowing. I need to remember to take my Jesus pill every morning, every hour sometimes, every minute sometimes. I am seeing a whole new light this evening.
And to mention the fact that my husband's job is safe is even more wonderful! The Lord provided and I feel extremely foolish for worrying.
Be His,
Dany
Monday, November 26, 2012
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Full of Thankfulness
So once again I got back logged on blogging. I really need to set up an hour or so and get some posts scheduled to post so that when I am away you all still have something to read.
Since I am behind on my days of thanks I am going to try to my best to make this blog full of thankfulness and catch up.
Day 6: Thankful this day for the ability to have a voice in the election procress. So thankful for the free country we live in.
Day 7: So incredibly thankful to a church who welcomed our broken selves with open arms, have allow us to serve middle schoolers, and have been so super supportive. Collide has been an amazing way to use our gifts and abilities to be the hands and feet of Christ. I'll say it's again, as crazy as I though Kelly was for roping me into hanging out with middle schoolers I'm having a blast!
Day 8: Thankful for the flexibility of homeschooling. The fact that we can school morning, noon, or night. It is amazing what we can learn and when.
Day 9: Thankful for the laughter that I can share with my children and with my husband.
Day 10: Thankful for the ability to show case my work at a craft show. Thankful for customers who continue to buy product through me. This is a great way for me to help support my family without spending 40 hours a week away from them.
Day 11: Thankful for the relationships my kids are making with each other. Being brought closer by our homeschooling adventure. Turning out to be each others best friends, biggest supporters, and sticking up for each other. Myla asked Parker for a hug and he gave one gladly. Ondrea and Parker played chase around the living room and giggled so hard when the other was caught. And the love they have for their baby sister is incredible.
Day 12: Thankful for the ability to hang out with my sister in law and other women. I am blessed to have the chance to be more then just a wife and mom. It is so incredibly hard to find time for myself. I am the mother of 4. One of which is special needs and requires me more than the others. I am a wife that needs to fill the needs of my husband. I am a homemaker of a house that doesn't clean itself, of clothes that do not wash themselves, and of beds that need making. I am a school teacher, teaching my children the ways of the world and the knowledge that they need to succeed beyond measure. I am a business owner. The demands of a creating new products, creating inventory, and doing all the books leaves me staying up into all hours of the night. When I get a chance to hang out with other women it makes me feel refreshed and like an individual again.
Day 13: Today I am thankful for praying friends and family. The fact that I am surrounded by people willing to pray for me and my family is amazing. I once again called on them this afternoon as we wait for some either unsettling or positive news. We were not provided with the answer we were hoping for so we still wait. As we wait my family and friends will continue to pray for us.
Since I am behind on my days of thanks I am going to try to my best to make this blog full of thankfulness and catch up.
Day 6: Thankful this day for the ability to have a voice in the election procress. So thankful for the free country we live in.
Day 7: So incredibly thankful to a church who welcomed our broken selves with open arms, have allow us to serve middle schoolers, and have been so super supportive. Collide has been an amazing way to use our gifts and abilities to be the hands and feet of Christ. I'll say it's again, as crazy as I though Kelly was for roping me into hanging out with middle schoolers I'm having a blast!
Day 8: Thankful for the flexibility of homeschooling. The fact that we can school morning, noon, or night. It is amazing what we can learn and when.
Day 9: Thankful for the laughter that I can share with my children and with my husband.
Day 10: Thankful for the ability to show case my work at a craft show. Thankful for customers who continue to buy product through me. This is a great way for me to help support my family without spending 40 hours a week away from them.
Day 11: Thankful for the relationships my kids are making with each other. Being brought closer by our homeschooling adventure. Turning out to be each others best friends, biggest supporters, and sticking up for each other. Myla asked Parker for a hug and he gave one gladly. Ondrea and Parker played chase around the living room and giggled so hard when the other was caught. And the love they have for their baby sister is incredible.
Day 12: Thankful for the ability to hang out with my sister in law and other women. I am blessed to have the chance to be more then just a wife and mom. It is so incredibly hard to find time for myself. I am the mother of 4. One of which is special needs and requires me more than the others. I am a wife that needs to fill the needs of my husband. I am a homemaker of a house that doesn't clean itself, of clothes that do not wash themselves, and of beds that need making. I am a school teacher, teaching my children the ways of the world and the knowledge that they need to succeed beyond measure. I am a business owner. The demands of a creating new products, creating inventory, and doing all the books leaves me staying up into all hours of the night. When I get a chance to hang out with other women it makes me feel refreshed and like an individual again.
Day 13: Today I am thankful for praying friends and family. The fact that I am surrounded by people willing to pray for me and my family is amazing. I once again called on them this afternoon as we wait for some either unsettling or positive news. We were not provided with the answer we were hoping for so we still wait. As we wait my family and friends will continue to pray for us.
Monday, November 5, 2012
Catch up and Tears
I want to play catch up on my Days of Thanks in November. I also want to up date on Butterfly Girl since she has a doctor appointment today.
Let's start with Days of Thanks:
November 2, 2012: I am thankful so much for my Monkey Girl. I was able to spend the morning with her after I got done working. She needed to go to the doctor for her 2.5 year check up. The doctor was impressed with her vocabulary and just how smart she truly is. Spending this alone time with her allowed me to get some snuggles in. I was also able to see just how funny she can be. She is my super active, never stopping child. She is makes my heart melt and she truly is a smarty. The doctor said she was functioning at the age of a 5 year old. I am so thankful that the Lord gave her to us to grow in his path.
November 3, 2012: Thankful for the ability to express my faith in God. Thankful that I can teach my children the truth of the Word of God. Thankful that we have the ability to go to church and grow with fellow believers in our Lord.
November 4, 2012: Thankful for my in-laws who are so incredibly supportive and love their Grandchildren to pieces. They are always there when we need a sitter, or pizza, or have a question, whether sewing or building.
November 5, 2012: Today I am extremely thankful for my husband. He is my best friend/soul mate/and love of my life. He is an extremely amazing father for my children. After such a tough day with the appointment for Butterfly Girl he is the voice that tells me it will be okay. He is the voice that tells me not matter what the doctors say we will make it through. The voice that says she is perfect. He is truly my strength and I thank the Lord for him!
Now on to the dreaded doctor appointment. The good news is that Butterfly Girl is growing like a weed. She is the only one of my children to hit 20 pounds by one weighing in at 20 pounds 5 ounces. She is also a long little bug. She measured at 28.5 inches long. She will be like her uncle and grandma! The bad news... Her left side of her body is still about 30 percent weaker than the right side of her body. We need to up the PT in order to try to strengthen this. Then we moved in to the next issue. Butterfly Girl doesn't chew. She sucks and then swallows. This means that we need to start feeding therapy with the OT and then possibly call in someone more extensive depending on how the first few session go. After that we then looked at her vision. The doctor was less then impressed that we have already had to have her prescription changed. She was also less than thrilled that it was so drastic. We went from a +1 and +3 in her eyes to +6 in each eye. This is not how we would like things to progress, but it is what life is. We will have an MRI repeated right after Christmas to see if their is any change in her brain that would explain why her vision would be declining so quickly. After her vision we moved on to her lack of words. We discussed how quite my sweet girl is and that she is still at a 3 month level as far as babbling and not saying any distinct words. We will start Speech Therapy once a month for the next 3 months and then will move to 2 times a week.
I have been in tears on and off all day. The doctors are still not sure why she is the way she is. They currently have no medical explanation. It is hard. It hurts. It bites. I want answers so bad. I want to know what is wrong with my baby girl. I have cried because I feel like I have failed her. I feel as though I do not do enough to help her see. I feel as though I am not equipped enough to be her mom. I hurt that she will go through life struggling. Ugh, it sucks. I wish I could just make my baby better. Please pray as Kelly and I go through the next few days adjusting to the news we received today. It always seems to take us a few days to get back into feeling okay about Butterfly Girl's diagnosis. We will each shed tears. We will hold each other and hold each of our children. We will hold on to our faith. We will hold on to the prayers of those who lift us during these hard times.
Again I am remember my children's bible verse they need to be memorizing. Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." If we continue to grow our faith and those of children and love our Lord. If we continue to do his will and life as we have been called to his purpose we know that God will work for our good. We will have our time where we will feel like we will be on top. Right now its day by day following the plan that is set for our life which includes raising a daughter that can not see.
Let's start with Days of Thanks:
November 2, 2012: I am thankful so much for my Monkey Girl. I was able to spend the morning with her after I got done working. She needed to go to the doctor for her 2.5 year check up. The doctor was impressed with her vocabulary and just how smart she truly is. Spending this alone time with her allowed me to get some snuggles in. I was also able to see just how funny she can be. She is my super active, never stopping child. She is makes my heart melt and she truly is a smarty. The doctor said she was functioning at the age of a 5 year old. I am so thankful that the Lord gave her to us to grow in his path.
November 3, 2012: Thankful for the ability to express my faith in God. Thankful that I can teach my children the truth of the Word of God. Thankful that we have the ability to go to church and grow with fellow believers in our Lord.
November 4, 2012: Thankful for my in-laws who are so incredibly supportive and love their Grandchildren to pieces. They are always there when we need a sitter, or pizza, or have a question, whether sewing or building.
November 5, 2012: Today I am extremely thankful for my husband. He is my best friend/soul mate/and love of my life. He is an extremely amazing father for my children. After such a tough day with the appointment for Butterfly Girl he is the voice that tells me it will be okay. He is the voice that tells me not matter what the doctors say we will make it through. The voice that says she is perfect. He is truly my strength and I thank the Lord for him!
Now on to the dreaded doctor appointment. The good news is that Butterfly Girl is growing like a weed. She is the only one of my children to hit 20 pounds by one weighing in at 20 pounds 5 ounces. She is also a long little bug. She measured at 28.5 inches long. She will be like her uncle and grandma! The bad news... Her left side of her body is still about 30 percent weaker than the right side of her body. We need to up the PT in order to try to strengthen this. Then we moved in to the next issue. Butterfly Girl doesn't chew. She sucks and then swallows. This means that we need to start feeding therapy with the OT and then possibly call in someone more extensive depending on how the first few session go. After that we then looked at her vision. The doctor was less then impressed that we have already had to have her prescription changed. She was also less than thrilled that it was so drastic. We went from a +1 and +3 in her eyes to +6 in each eye. This is not how we would like things to progress, but it is what life is. We will have an MRI repeated right after Christmas to see if their is any change in her brain that would explain why her vision would be declining so quickly. After her vision we moved on to her lack of words. We discussed how quite my sweet girl is and that she is still at a 3 month level as far as babbling and not saying any distinct words. We will start Speech Therapy once a month for the next 3 months and then will move to 2 times a week.
I have been in tears on and off all day. The doctors are still not sure why she is the way she is. They currently have no medical explanation. It is hard. It hurts. It bites. I want answers so bad. I want to know what is wrong with my baby girl. I have cried because I feel like I have failed her. I feel as though I do not do enough to help her see. I feel as though I am not equipped enough to be her mom. I hurt that she will go through life struggling. Ugh, it sucks. I wish I could just make my baby better. Please pray as Kelly and I go through the next few days adjusting to the news we received today. It always seems to take us a few days to get back into feeling okay about Butterfly Girl's diagnosis. We will each shed tears. We will hold each other and hold each of our children. We will hold on to our faith. We will hold on to the prayers of those who lift us during these hard times.
Again I am remember my children's bible verse they need to be memorizing. Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." If we continue to grow our faith and those of children and love our Lord. If we continue to do his will and life as we have been called to his purpose we know that God will work for our good. We will have our time where we will feel like we will be on top. Right now its day by day following the plan that is set for our life which includes raising a daughter that can not see.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Be Thankful November
November 1, 2012. I am so very thankful for heat. It is starting to get cold here in Michigan and a house that provides heat is something I am so incredibly thankful for. I know that there are many less privileged and are cold tonight. I am also so thankful for each one of the family members that sleep under the same roof as myself. Each one has so many gifts and abilities that make this family work so well.
Each of my children also had something to share. From being thankful for daddy, to being thankful for mommy. It was our oldest that had the most interesting thing to be thankful for. She was thankful for paper. Paper, I thought, how interesting. I then asked her to explain. She told me that without paper she wouldn't be able to draw pictures, she wouldn't be able to write notes, and she wouldn't be able to tell people she loved them if they lived far away. She explained to my how paper was so important in the world because it is how we communicate. That's right, my 6 year old told me we communicate with paper. I was so proud! I was in shock when she said it. She is so smart. She also realized that without paper we would not be able to read books. She told me how she loved learning to read and without the paper in her books she would not be able to do that. I love this. I love that she has such a great insight to life. I love how she thought of something outside of the normal family, friends, my house answers. How often do we take paper for granted. In a world of technology we forget how important paper can be in the form of communication. We forget that some of the greatest books ever written were printed on paper. How often do we just grab a piece of paper and just scratch a note. I know that I take paper for granted. I just write. I don't think about what I am writing on. It was such a refreshing answer. A great reminder. I to am thankful for paper. I love being able to write the kids a little note telling them how much I love them. I am heading to do that right now. I wont be home when they wake up in the morning because I need to go do some work. I will put a note by each of their breakfast chairs. Tell them how much I love them and care about them. Thank you sweet Princess Girl for the new perspective on life and what to be thankful for!
Trick or Treat? Treat or Trick?
Happy Halloween!
As I was thinking about my blog post for the day I found it so fitting that the saying "Trick or Treat" seemed to fit so well. You see, I have a love/hate relationship with Butterfly Girl's therapy. I know she needs it. I know that its good for her. I know that it will help her grow stronger and stronger. I know all these things. I just hate what they always have to say. See it goes like this; They tell me all the good or "treat" things that our sweet baby girl does. Today for example, they liked that when she was seeing it was across all lines of vision. They also liked that she when she wasn't seeing if she dropped a toy, she knew the general area that she dropped it and could find her way back to it. The liked that she was now banging things together and making more eye contact during those seeing times. They had so many good things to say. They commented on how much work I do advocating for her. They remarked on how well we have daughter her to keep her glasses on. They couldn't say enough good things. My feelings were overwhelmed with joy. I was extremely happy.
Then came the bad or "trick" part of our session. I was reminded again that my daughter was behind. That her blindness and low vision has delayed her skills. I was also told that the fact her prescription has changed so much already that it is a cause for concern. I was told that she should be doing more talking. That she needs to be making even more eye contact during those times she is seeing. That we still need to work on her find motor skills. We also need to help her starting feeling her way around our house. How dare we not be doing that already!
Once again we were handed a list of activities to do with Butterfly Girl so that she can hopefully get caught up to speed. We have more appointments to schedule. More therapists to see. You can't be to busy now! I cried. I will admit I cried a lot. I just want this perfect, cute, happy baby! I just want everything to go excellent for once. I wish I could have just ONE appointment with our sweet baby girl and it would just go swimmingly. I wish I could stop getting the "Trick or Treats" at each appointment.
On another note, we had a fantastic Halloween. We hope that you did also. We headed downtown got lots of candy. I had a bumble bee(butterfly girl), a horsey, a dragon, and a Princess. It was fun. Our kids then got to go hang out their adopted Grandpa and Grandma and had an extreme blast! I then joined the rest of the leaders for our Collide black out event which was AMAZING!! So glad that we could have a great night. We also hope you had a safe, fun filled event.
As I was thinking about my blog post for the day I found it so fitting that the saying "Trick or Treat" seemed to fit so well. You see, I have a love/hate relationship with Butterfly Girl's therapy. I know she needs it. I know that its good for her. I know that it will help her grow stronger and stronger. I know all these things. I just hate what they always have to say. See it goes like this; They tell me all the good or "treat" things that our sweet baby girl does. Today for example, they liked that when she was seeing it was across all lines of vision. They also liked that she when she wasn't seeing if she dropped a toy, she knew the general area that she dropped it and could find her way back to it. The liked that she was now banging things together and making more eye contact during those seeing times. They had so many good things to say. They commented on how much work I do advocating for her. They remarked on how well we have daughter her to keep her glasses on. They couldn't say enough good things. My feelings were overwhelmed with joy. I was extremely happy.
Then came the bad or "trick" part of our session. I was reminded again that my daughter was behind. That her blindness and low vision has delayed her skills. I was also told that the fact her prescription has changed so much already that it is a cause for concern. I was told that she should be doing more talking. That she needs to be making even more eye contact during those times she is seeing. That we still need to work on her find motor skills. We also need to help her starting feeling her way around our house. How dare we not be doing that already!
Once again we were handed a list of activities to do with Butterfly Girl so that she can hopefully get caught up to speed. We have more appointments to schedule. More therapists to see. You can't be to busy now! I cried. I will admit I cried a lot. I just want this perfect, cute, happy baby! I just want everything to go excellent for once. I wish I could have just ONE appointment with our sweet baby girl and it would just go swimmingly. I wish I could stop getting the "Trick or Treats" at each appointment.
On another note, we had a fantastic Halloween. We hope that you did also. We headed downtown got lots of candy. I had a bumble bee(butterfly girl), a horsey, a dragon, and a Princess. It was fun. Our kids then got to go hang out their adopted Grandpa and Grandma and had an extreme blast! I then joined the rest of the leaders for our Collide black out event which was AMAZING!! So glad that we could have a great night. We also hope you had a safe, fun filled event.
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