Comments From the Peanut Gallery

So I have every intention of making a post about our first full day in glasses, but the day just got away from me. Saturday morning was fabulous. Kelly was up before me getting ready for robotics. I was still laying in bed when I heard laughter coming down the hall. Sure enough, my wake up call was coming. Looking at the clock I was wishing my little wake up calls would go back to bed. It was Saturday after all and 7:30am just seemed to early for a Saturday. They seemed to disagree. The girls were full of energy. They were chasing each other in circles and laughing loudly. What an awesome way to start the morning. Before I got Kinsley up for the day I fed the bigger kids. Then it was Kinsleys turn. There was an extra step to our morning routine. As I laid her on the changing table to get her ready so etching had to change. We had to add the step I didn't want to. The time had come. I got out her clothes and diaper. I got her dressed, talking to her about every thing I was doing. Then it happened. I took her glasses out of the case. I slowly, carefully, gently put them on her face. Once again hoping to se instan change, I was disappointed. Kelly left for the day, but in his place my mom came. She came to watch the kids so I could work. I sew for a living. A way to make an extra income yet stay at homs with my children. My nine store opens the middle of February and I need to have stuff ready to stock. I sewed into the early afternoon. When I finished I talked to my mom about gong to get Kinsley's eats pierced with me. She thought it was a great idea! So when Kelly got how we left. This was going to be my first time taking Kinsley out with her glasses on. I was nervous. I feared the comments and stares. My momma bear instinct wanted to tear apart anyone who said something. As I was driving, noticing he emotions, I prayed "Lord, I know what I feel like saying to someone if the comment or stare, but please speak for me so my words are kinder." The time came. I pulled into the parking lt at the mall. I needed to walk my sweet girl in to ge her ears pierced. They weren't going to come out to me. So I did. I ventured into the mall. No me noticed her glasses until we reached the counter of the ear pierce place. The first comment made was by the woman who would pierce Kisleys ears. "Aww, she has glasses." I didn't know how to responde. Was this a question or a statement! What kind of response did it require. The Bly thing I could muster was a yes. That out of the way my mom and I started looking at earrings. We decided on go,d heart shaped earrings with a pink center. They are cute! Funny thing about this experience was that I got stares from people who couldn't believe I wa piercing my baby's ears and they didn't bug me. It something I wanted her to have done. All my girls had them done at this age. It didn't bug me they stared in disapproval. It did, however, bug me when they stared at her glasses. My thinking behind this is that the earrings are something I could control. I could do it at this age or wait. The glasses I can't control. The possibility of her not being able to see is out of my hands. I can not protect her from years of teasing or hurt because of glasses. I can take out the earrings if I chose. That fact that her vision is out of my hands kills me. I would do anything to trade vision with her. I can not. This road of poor vision we the be God chose for her. My day of having a hard time dealing with stares and comments would continue. I survived the mall. I needed to now go to Walmart, I needed to pick up a few things. This aw hard. Every stare was deeper, every comment loud. Questions on why she had glasses and how we knew she needed them were being asked. The aww poor baby has glasses comments were painful. I answered questions the best I could. It was the Lord speaking for me though because all I wanted to shout was leave my baby alone! Stop asking questions! Every time some asks a question or makes a comment I tell myself they may not work. It stinks to be reminded of that. I need to grow tougher skin. I need to let go. I need to know its nr meant to hurt me on purpose, but it does. The rest of he day was pretty uneventful. We relaxed at home and enjoyed family time. Our first full day in glasses was survived. The next morning we would see how church went. Today we woke up to snow. Not just a little snow either. I would say a good three or more inches. Today aw a church day as my kids say. Kelly was on sick kd duty, so it wa only me, Kinsley, Myla, and Parker going to church. Ondrea was feeling better, but I wanted he to rest one more day so she could go to school tomorrow. As I got everyone ready I aw confident about walking nt church. A church I am surrounded by love and support. Surrounded by prayer. It is a safe place. No need to worry about comments or stares. When we first walked in the group that meets before service was getting ready to pray. We joined in. We were able to pray for Kinsley's eyes. I wish I would have known I needed prayer to. Disappointed already that we didn't see instant working power from the glasses on Friday every one seemed to comment on how they thought they were working. This was hard! Being her mother and being around her all the time, I haven't noticed much, if any, change in her vision. I needed a breather. I was hungry and thirsty. I went to the gas station to get a pop and donut. On my way I placed my debit card and phone on my lap. Pulling out of the driveway of the church parking lot I decided I couldnt see out ofe of my windows to well. Forgetting that my phone and card were on my lap I got out of the van. Sure enough the card and phone would not be phone. They were lost in the almost six inches of snow we had received. Many people came out to help me look with no luck. After getting some cash, I was still able to get my donut and pop. Returning to church left more people commenting about how they thought her glasses were working. I know these comments were meant to be encouraging and not hurtful. I know they were said out of love and concern. I know, but they still hurt. I feel like the comments plant a false hope in my heart. I feel like if ingest my hopes up to high they will be crushed in four weeks when the doctor says she can not see. I was speechless. I really didn't know what to tell all these people about their comments. Do I thank them? Do I tell them how I feel? I chose to smile and nod. After church we went to have lunch at the house of a couple that goes to our church. It was an amazing lunch. Simple and delicious. My children loved it there. This couple is amazing to. They are so sweet. Such listening ears they have. It was nice to be ourselves. They didn't require we explain about her eyes, they just showed is love and kindness. I felt like I was safe to think about other things other then Kinsley's sight or lack there of. It was an afternoon breather that was much needed. I thanked the Lord for such an amazing afternoon. Once home, it was another u eventual afternoon and evening. I took a late and somewhat long nap. I got the older kinds in bed, rocked Kinsley, and watched a movie with my husband. We made it through two full days of glasses. We are all adjusting. Kinsley doesn't seem to mind them. Mommy is getting used to the idea and Myla just keeps saying "baby glasses, baby glasses" it is quite cute. I pray the Lord do his will with Kinsley's sight. I know that I am praying the Lord heal her fully so that she doesn't even need the glasses. I pray that even of she does need the glasses her vision will be winderful. I know full well that this may not be God's plan for our baby. He may chose her to have no sight at all. If this is his will I pray that he gives Kelly and I peace and understanding. I pray he gives us the support we need to make it through this journey. Will you please continue to pray for Kinsley. Pray the Lords will be done, but also pray for him to do a winderful m miricale in Kinsleys eyes and restore them to full strength. I can feel your prayers for our family. It means a lot to us to have your prayers and support. Thank you for joining us on this journey. Danyelle