Being Equipped

Isaiah 45:5-6 says this: I am the Lord; there is no other God. I have equipped you for battle, though you don't even know me, so all the world from the east to west will know there is no other God. I am the Lord, and there is no other.

 

There are many moments throughout daily life where I sometimes do not feel equipped for certain situations. Those are little things. Then there are those times in life where I certainly do not think I am equipped to handle certain situations. There are so many questions. So many ways to parent. So many ways to be a wife. There are so many ways to go about life. Homeschooling, running businesses, raising up children, and being a woman of faith. Am I equipped?

My two year old has exhausted all of my "go-to" discipline techniques. She truly is a child of her own accord and I was certainly not ready for everything she has thrown my way. She is very strong willed. I no longer had the tools to deal with her behavior and endless curiosity. This is somethings small. Every day.

Butterfly Girl's CVI was something that I was not equipped to handle. I was not ready to raise a child that had special needs. I was not ready to raise a sweet girl that had limited to no vision. I just wasn't ready. This is a big event.

I can not be equipped by my own power and make it through the day. However, I am equipped by my Lord. He has equipped me with everything that I need for this battle of life and let's face it. Life can be a battle. Sometimes we struggle to get a meal on the table. Sometimes we struggle to discipline our children with love. Life can get ugly. Life can get brutal. There are times where we we feel like the tools for battle are missing.

I tell you this. Turn to the Lord. He has equipped you with everything you need for the moment. He has given you peace, patience and love to discipline your children. He has given you the the gift of grace so you can forgive yourself and others. The Lord is your most powerful tool. He has given you his word in which we can find strength in all things. Read it. Pray it. Hold onto the Lord. You have the tools to face every day battle. You have the tools to face even the toughest adversities in life. I have been through some of the roughest times in my life in the past year. If it were not for my faith I would have never been able to survive. God gave me the tools.

Know that you are equipped. Stand strong in faith.

Be Blessed.

Dany

Going back

This morning I spent some time going back to what started this blog in the first place. I went back those days and weeks where we were not quite sure what was wrong with our baby, buy we knew something was wasn't right. I produced tears of heartache reading through all the emotion that was felt in those days. I also cried tears of joy.

CVI has changed our lives. It will forever be a part of us. It will affect our daughter. It will always have two sides. It will have it's blessings and it's curses. It will never go away.

We are reminded every day. Some days worse then others, that her vision isn't perfect. Her vision even when present is poor. Last night, while at a skating party for church, I let Butterfly Girl down to walk.  Her spirit is strong. She doesn't want to let her vision hold her back. She is a normal toddler wanting to explore. She doesn't know her that she can't do things like other kids. By her side I followed her every where she wanted to go. Stopping her as she walked into people she couldn't see, Stopping her from running into walls that she didn't know where there. Then all of a sudden, a light went on in her head and she could see. She dashed straight for the rink floor with so much as bumping into anything. She wanted out there. She wanted to skate like daddy and her siblings. This balance of letting her be a toddler and trying to protect her are tough. We don't want to hold her back from learning about this amazing world, but we also do not want her hurt.

CVI has changed us, but we will not let it bring us down. We will stand firm in the promises God has made for us! We will stand firm in knowing that God has control. He sent us down this path because he knows we can do it.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take." Proverbs 3:5-6

This is a verse that I have leaned on a lot in the past year. I do not need to understand why this happened. I just need to trust in the Lord with everything I have. I need to seek him. I need to just keep asking him what next step it to take. I need to keep pouring my heart to him and he will see me through. What an encouragement I have in the Lord. CVI may have changed our life, but it certainly wont change who we are.

Be blessed

Dany

Reflection

This morning I was awaken to MUCH cooler temperatures and a gentle breeze. Shortly after that perfect awaking my mind started racing. It hit me like a ton of bricks that we had just spent hundreds of dollars on a new refrigerator (ours was 62 degrees when we woke up yesterday morning) and that the appointment that I have been dreading for Butterfly Girl is coming up at the end of the week.
I was not about to let the anxiety keep me down. So I started with what I do best, a list. I listed everything that I would like to see get done today and started at it. Keeping myself and my brain busy with what needed to be accomplished today. Soon that didn't help. Part of what needed to be done today was balancing the checkbook, paying bills, and then like. Doing those jobs gives me even more anxiety. Then I stopped. I took a minute. Then two things came to mind.

 1. "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11.

This is something I so desperately need to keep my focus on when it comes to Butterfly Girl. I should have it be my focus all the time, I know, but I need to even more so when it comes to her. Her appointments are so draining sometimes. I have a hard time remembering that even in my pain he has a plan. Even in the time of uncertainty in life HE has a plan for my baby. This plan involves CVI, this plan involves developmental delays, this plan involves lots of extra care and work. This is HIS plan for my sweet child. HIS plan for my perfect angel. It is hard, but needs to be done. I have to remind myself of HIS plan for our life. I also have to remember that his plans for our life our his plans and that although we may want to change them we are disobeying when we do.  God is perfect!
2. The lyrics from a song of Chris Tomlin's

Give thanks to the Lord
Our God and King
His love endures forever
For He is good, He is above all things
His love endures forever
Sing praise, sing praise
With a mighty hand
and outstretched arm
His love endures forever
For the life that's been reborn
His love endures forever
Sing praise, sing praise
Sing praise, sing praise

Yeah
Forever God is faithful
Forever God is strong
Forever God is with us
Forever
Forever

From the rising to the setting sun
His love endures forever
By the grace of God
We will carry on
His love endures forever
Sing praise, sing praise
Sing praise, sing praise
Yeah
Forever God is faithful
Forever God is strong
Forever God is with us
Forever
Forever
Forever God is faithful
Forever God is strong
Forever God is with us
Forever
Forever
Forever

His love endures forever
His love endures forever
His love endures forever
Forever
Sing praise, sing praise
Sing praise, sing praise
Yeah
Forever you are faithful
Forever you are strong
Forever you are with us
Forever
And ever
Yeah

Forever you are faithful
Forever you are strong
Forever you are with us
Forever
Forever
You are God.....
Forever
And ever and ever ...

By this song I am reminded that His love endures forever. It reminds me that he is faithful and strong. He is the perfect person to entrust this journey to. He has set this journey before us even before Butterfly Girl was born. I am also reminded that despite the money we had to spend on the fridge, or the TV, or anything else for that matter that HE is faithful.

My husband and I were talking about how true God is to us because every time we get extra money something breaks. And as much as we would love to save that money for fun, God has allowed for things in our house to stay working long enough for us to get extra money. He has never allowed anything to break when we felt like we would have had to make the choice to cut other things in order to buy what was broken. That is a huge answer to prayers. He has the perfect plan in spite of us not always thinking its perfect.

As I continued to give God my worries and anxiety I felt the day get better and better. I have peace of mind knowing that God has plans for our life and that he is faithful. I will still have worries about Butterfly Girl's appointment. I will still sometimes wish we had the extra money still, but that will come and go like the ocean waves.

My list keeps me going, but it is no longer what is driving me today to keep my mind off of things. God has taken care of that. Now I can work on my list without my distracting brain trying to make me think about things to come. What a journey we are on. What a path we have been given. It is surly lit by the light of the Lord.

Problems with the blog

I have been having some issues with the blog the past week or so. It is giving me all sorts of error codes and giving me lots of problems with tags, posting, and letting me spell check. It seems my problems which have lead to lack of posting are keeping my readers from reading. I promise you I am working on fixing the issues. I am also reading a book to help me more effectively blog and liven it up around here.

I started this blog with the intention of keeping everyone up to date on Butterfly Girl's diagnosis and how she is doing in this difficult life that has been given to her. I want you to all know how we are handling it as her parents, siblings, and other family. I want you to all know how upside down our lives have been turned and how we are conquering blindness.

Part of this includes letting you know about life in general. Our family. Our beliefs. Our strive to be the best parents we can be in this daily life. To be the best business owners we can be. To be the best team we can be. We will kick blindness in the butt! We will fight to the end to give our baby girl the best life possible.

I want you all to be a part of this. I want you to know how are you pray for us. I want you to know how we are doing. Your prayers and support have been amazing! I can truly feel them. I am doing my best to fix the blog issues that I have been experiencing and getting you back up to date on what is happening in the world of CVI and how we are over coming!