Missing

I have been missing. Yes I will admit I haven't blogged in a while. I decided to go to Wyoming *the state* to see my sister. I came home with my nephew. It was a good trip. I was there for a little less then a week.

I have had a saying this week that goes "Balance is Key" I have also said that my key is missing. I am not sure that I will ever find it back. Being a Christian, a wife, a mom, a homemaker, and a business women there is no balance. If I am working on being  a wife I feel like every thing else is getting forgotten about. If I am working on being a better Christian, my family, business, and house get forgot about. I am having a great deal of trouble trying to find balance.

Is there ever a balance to life? Will I ever feel like if I am working on one thing nothing else is being "forgotten"? I am not so sure. I can always try to achieve balance, but I may not ever be happy. So I need to find a new balance. A balance that requires me to be okay with the fact that I may never find the balance I wish to achieve. This for my OCD self is HARD.

I am also having a bit of sadness over missing one year of my children's schooling. We home school. That is what we do at this house, but once we had Butterfly Girl and we were told about her diagnosis we decided this year needed to be different. You see Butterfly Girl needs to have 4 hours of therapy a week. We need to be intense about helping her meet her one year milestones in an appropriate amount of time which will require me doing home therapy on top of the times the therapists are here. Therefore after much discussion with my Husband we decided that it would be best for the oldest two to go to public school this fall. It makes me sad. I am having extreme anxiety over the fact that I will be missing a very important year in their education.

One thing I am NOT missing is my faith in the Lord. I know that with all I feel like I am missing right now he has got me. He will carry me on forever and ever. He will fill me with the power of the Holy Spirit to accomplish all these things. He will provide a peace to my very unbalanced life!