1 week!

I think that in life it is important to set realistic goals. Any one that knows me personally knows that sometimes the goals I set for myself are a bit on the crazy side. The amount of help I want to give my children, other family, and my husband was making things a bit crazy. I have a hard time saying no. I hate hurting people's feelings. I don't want to disappoint people. I never really thought about how this was affecting my life, my health, or my family.

I have spent a lot of time in the past six months sick. It seems the minute I get over something, I catch something else. I have also spent the past six months wanting to do nothing but sleep. Ever day I woke up feeling as though I could sleep another ten days. I was constantly crabby. I was wearing myself thin every day. I stayed up until 2am working, I would get up at 6am to get things done before the children got up and we started school. I wasn't giving my body adequate rest. I wasn't allowing my immune system time to fight anything off.

I am a slave to my lists. I am a slave to my schedule. It is my type A personality and the OCD that I suffer from daily. Having multiple lists is not out of the normal range for me. Having things scheduled to the minute is not out of normal for me. Something needed to change.

I vowed that this year was going to be the year I work on getting more sleep, being content when things don't get done. Over the past two hearts the strings on my heart have been being tugged. Quietly as I sat in prayer I was told it was time to let go, just a little. I really needed a change. This is hard for me. I still have a schedule that we stick to. The difference is that when we get off schedule I try to just breath, pray, and become okay instead of freaking out. I still have a list. I have a daily list of things I need to do. I have a list of extra things that I would like done if there is time. I have a list of business things that need to get done. Each of these lists have their purpose and importance in the way I get things done. I did, however, have four children and my memory sometimes lacks me. I am trying to feel comfortable with myself if not everything gets done. Even if one thing gets done it is a good day.

The Lord was laying on my heart that my health, marriage, and children were more important then any schedule or to do list. First things first. My health. If I didn't start trying to get more sleep and be healthier my marriage and my children would continue to suffer from a sick and crabby mommy and wife. I know an adult needs the average of 6-8 hours a night. I was getting 4. My first step was getting to bed at a decent time so that I could still get up before the kids. The problem here was I would sit on my iPad or phone until I became tired. So I vowed to shut them down so they would no longer be a distraction. I can proudly say that I have done this for a week! I feel so much more rested. I feel happy. I feel more accomplished. Now it's to early to tell if I will get sick less often, but hopefully with proper sleep that will be the case.

The accomplishment of this goal is huge! I have been set in my ways for so long. My schedules and lists give me control. Give me a sense of order. Give me a sense of belonging because I have things that people are counting on me to get done. I needed that reminder that I do not belong to schedules or lists. They do not give me love. They do not give me encouragement. The people in my life do! My husband and my children! They matter. They count on me to be healthy and happy. They count on me to be the best me. My husband was surprised the first night I came to bed early and he could actually talk to me before we feel asleep. I forgot it mattered. I forgot it was important.

It's only been a week. I know new habits are hard to form. I know that I will slip and fall and go back to my old ways. I will need gentle reminders to go back to this place. I am human.

Be Blessed.

Dany